The charred remains of a software engineer’s home in Bengaluru tell a story that has become tragically familiar in India. A young woman, living independently in one of the country’s most progressive cities, was allegedly assaulted and murdered by her 18-year-old neighbor. Her crime? Rejecting his sexual advances. Before the embers had cooled, another case joined the long, grim list of women in India who have paid with their lives for the simple act of saying no.

This is not an isolated incident born of individual pathology. It is a pattern, a crisis that repeats itself with numbing regularity across cities, towns, and villages. Women are attacked with acid that melts their faces. They are stalked, harassed, stabbed, and burned. The scenarios vary, but the underlying cause remains constant: a man’s inability to accept rejection from a woman. We can no longer afford to treat these as aberrations or crimes of passion. They are symptoms of a deep societal sickness, one rooted in how we raise our boys and the culture of entitlement we permit to flourish around them.

The question we must confront is uncomfortable but necessary: what drives men in India to inflict violence when a woman exercises her fundamental right to refuse them? The answer lies not in individual psychology alone but in the toxic ecosystem of beliefs, behaviors, and cultural messages that shape masculine identity in our country.

From childhood, many Indian boys are raised with a sense of entitlement that permeates every aspect of their lives. They are served food first. Their education is prioritized over their sisters’. Their comfort and desires are centered in family decisions. This preferential treatment, often invisible to those who benefit from it, creates an expectation that the world exists to accommodate their wants. When a woman says no, whether to a marriage proposal, a romantic advance, or even a casual request, it represents a fundamental challenge to this worldview. For men socialized to believe they deserve compliance, rejection is not merely disappointing but incomprehensible and enraging.

Our society’s treatment of women compounds this problem. Girls are taught from an early age to be accommodating, to avoid confrontation, to prioritize others’ feelings over their own boundaries. The message is clear: your role is to please, not to refuse. When women do assert themselves, they are often labeled difficult, arrogant, or characterless. This creates a culture where a woman’s “no” is not taken seriously or is seen as negotiable, something to be overcome through persistence, pressure, or force. Men internalize the belief that they have a right to pursue women despite clear rejection, and that her refusal is merely an obstacle rather than a boundary to be respected.

The role of popular culture in normalizing this dangerous dynamic cannot be overstated. Bollywood and regional cinema have spent decades glorifying stalking as romantic pursuit. Countless films depict heroes who refuse to accept a woman’s rejection, following her relentlessly, showing up uninvited at her workplace or home, enlisting friends and family to pressure her, and ultimately “winning” her love through sheer persistence. The heroine’s initial refusal is portrayed not as a genuine boundary but as a challenge to be overcome, proof of the hero’s dedication. By the film’s end, his stalking is reframed as devotion, and her capitulation is celebrated as love.

These narratives are not harmless entertainment. They are instruction manuals that teach millions of young men that a woman’s no does not mean no, that persistence in the face of rejection is admirable, and that women who resist will eventually succumb if enough pressure is applied. When real-life rejection occurs, these men have no framework for processing it healthily. Instead of accepting that not every woman will be interested in them, they see rejection as a plot point to be resolved through escalating pursuit. When even aggressive pursuit fails, violence becomes the final assertion of control.

The problem extends beyond cinema to social media, where influencers and content creators often peddle relationship advice that treats romantic pursuit as a conquest and women as prizes to be won. Comments sections overflow with men encouraging each other to “not give up” and “keep trying” even when women have explicitly said no. This digital echo chamber reinforces the dangerous idea that rejection is temporary and consent is optional.

Our legal system, while improved in recent years, still fails to adequately protect women or hold men accountable until violence has already occurred. Stalking laws exist on paper but are rarely enforced proactively. Women who report harassment are often dismissed by police who suggest they are overreacting or should simply ignore the attention. Restraining orders are difficult to obtain and easier to violate. By the time the system intervenes, a woman has often already been harmed or killed. The Bengaluru case exemplifies this failure: was there any indication before the attack that this young man was a threat? Were there earlier incidents of harassment that went unreported or unaddressed?

The solution to this crisis requires transformation at multiple levels. We must fundamentally change how we socialize boys, teaching them from the earliest age that no person owes them attention, affection, or access. Consent education should be mandatory in schools, not as a single lecture but as an ongoing conversation about respect, boundaries, and healthy relationships. Boys need to see their fathers and male role models treating women as equals, accepting rejection gracefully, and managing disappointment without aggression.

Parents must examine their own biases and stop raising sons who believe the world revolves around them. Equal distribution of household responsibilities, equal investment in daughters’ and sons’ education and independence, and consistent messaging that women are autonomous individuals, not supporting characters in men’s lives, are essential.

The entertainment industry bears responsibility for the narratives it creates. Filmmakers, actors, and producers must recognize that glorifying stalking and persistence-as-romance contributes to real-world violence. We need stories that model healthy masculinity, that show men accepting rejection with dignity, that depict women’s boundaries as sacred rather than obstacles.

Law enforcement and the judiciary must take threats and harassment seriously before they escalate to violence. Women should be able to report stalking, harassment, and threatening behavior with confidence that they will be protected, not dismissed. Swift, certain consequences for violating women’s boundaries would send a powerful message that such behavior will not be tolerated.

The Bengaluru software engineer deserved to live her life freely, to reject advances without fear, to return home safely each night. She deserved a society that had taught her neighbor that her “no” was absolute and non-negotiable. We failed her, as we have failed countless women before her. The question is whether we will finally do the difficult work of examining and dismantling the culture of male entitlement that makes rejection lethal, or whether we will simply wait for the next headline, the next name to add to the list of women killed for daring to say no.